


Emperor's New Clothes

by IllusiveBirds



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Costume Party, Fluff, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 03:52:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5114855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllusiveBirds/pseuds/IllusiveBirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘You’re going to be at the Halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um’ AU.</p>
<p>Steve is determined; no he is fucking resolute, that this will be the year that he wins best costume at Tony’s Halloween party. He has been planning this costume out since July, okay and he will not let James Barnes win another year. No way or he’ll eat his own helmet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emperor's New Clothes

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this took me a few weeks to write and i finally finished it last night, but i'm still not sure about the ending or any of it really. It's just a piece of fluff really and they don't even kiss but Steve thinks Bucky's a hot shit and that's all that really matters.
> 
> Title comes from Panic! at the Disco's song Emperor's New clothes which you should really listen to, it's amazing trust me.
> 
> Also there are probably loads of typos and odd sentences because i finished this last night whilst watching the Desolation of Smaug and things got weird but otherwise enjoy!

**Emperor’s new clothes**

 

_‘You’re going to be at the Halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um’ AU._

* * *

 

Steve is determined; no he is fucking resolute, that this will be the year that he wins best costume at Tony’s Halloween party. He has been planning this costume out since July, okay and he will not let James Barnes win another year. No way or he’ll eat his own helmet. (Well he won’t because it took three weeks to make but it’s the thought that counts.)

And Steve knows, he _knows_ it’s childish to have this grudge against someone he’s never even properly spoken to before, but he has this thing against losing and for three years he has been driven mad by this one asshole that always seems to have the best costume.

Last year he’d thought he’d had it in the bag; you can’t go wrong with Woody from Toy story now can you? He’d carefully written _Andy_ on the bottom of his shoe, gotten Peggy to paint his face as porcelain as it could go and was feeling pretty confident. Then that _bastard_ had turned up as Obi Wan Kenobi and no one had even looked at the perfect rendition of Woody, standing seething at the bar.

What’s worse though, is that Barnes has the nerve, no the _audacity_ to compliment Steve on his costume before he all but waves the glittery ball trophy in his face. Steve hates him.

Sure, he actually just put it on the bar next to Steve’s elbow and opened his mouth to say something, but Steve’s pride took over and he walked before he could even make eye contact, a bottle of tequila in hand.

(He blames the killer hangover on Barnes though as it was indirectly his fault that he even drank from that damned bottle in the first place).

So, yeah he hates Barnes, but this will be the year. He will win that trophy. Steve will make sure of it.

 

***

On the day of the 31st of October Steve is brimming with anticipation. He wakes up at six in the morning and can’t go back to sleep, forcing Sam to come on a morning jog with him instead.

Sam complains the entire time but he doesn’t care because _today is the day_. In the wardrobe his costume is carefully packed away, waiting for the four hour drive to New York and Tony’s annual Halloween party where he _will win best costume._ He is so ready for this.

Steve has known Tony since university, where they were roommates, and each year since their graduation he has participated in the costume competition at his Halloween party, winning four years in a row. (That is until _someone_ had to turn up as Tony Stark, who found it hilarious enough to award said person best costume).

But no, he’s not gonna think about today. Nope, he’s got to keep his eyes on the prize; the prize of being able to rub a plastic trophy into that smug assholes face.

When he tells Sam this as they’re packing up the car with all things Halloween-ey all he gets is a side-eye.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” Sam shrugs nonchalantly as he shoves a duffel bag into the back of the car.

“No seriously, what? What was that little look about?” Steve says placing his own bag into the car gently - he spent too long making that costume for it to get ruined on the way there – and then slams the boot of the car shut, punctuating his point perfectly.

 “You know why boys pull little girls pigtails on the playground?” Sam says rounding the car and getting in the front seat. Steve rolls his eyes, preparing for a Slice of Wisdom from Sam Wilson.

“It’s because,” Sam says, pausing to wait for Steve to buckle up, before continuing, “they have a crush on them and they don’t know how to get their attention.”

“Fascinating.” Steve deadpans as Sam sets of towards the highway and he leans forward to fiddle with the radio.

“Yes, seeing those exact same coping tactics in a grown male _is_ fascinating.”

“I do _not_ have a crush Sam!” Steve protests, sputtering his words out in shock. “This guy has stolen what is rightfully mine and I intend to get it back. Nothing more. Perhaps you’re the one with the crush and you’re just… projecting your feelings on to me!”

Steve sits back in his seat triumphantly, staring smugly at his friend. However, his heart beats too fast in his chest and he can’t shake the unnerving pit in his stomach that Sam’s words have given him.

“As much as I appreciate a fine male specimen - not unlike Barnes - the last time I checked I was a fully-fledged heterosexual unlike yourself, so out of the two of us the more likely option to be crushing on him is you.” Sam arches his eyebrow at Steve before focusing his attention back to the road ahead.

“Oh, shove off Sam. I’m an adult. I pay taxes, I don’t get crushes anymore.” Steve says self-righteously and switches the radio to a station playing non-stop Halloween anthems.

As he settles back in his seat however, he feels slightly shaky. _He can’t have a crush, right? He’s just overly competitive, there’s nothing wrong with a healthy bit of competition._

He shakes his head. _No, crushes are for kindergarteners, he definitely doesn’t have a crush._

 

***

Steve knows ok _he knows_ that he’s competitive and that it’s a problem. He’s pretty sure some psychologist would have a field day if they had the chance to analyse where it all started.

But Steve happens to like being competitive. He gets stuff done, sometimes to a ridiculously high standard which, in his jobs as a graphic designer for a prestigious DC company, is a major plus. And it’s only occasionally that it gets out of hand, like when he played football in university and punched a few (15) people on the opposing teams or when him and Tony bet each other that they could last as a vegan longer than the other; this only ended after almost a year when Tony caved at the Thanksgiving meal.

And maybe Steve has considered the possibility that this one-sided competition thing with Barnes isn’t actually about the trophy and reclaiming his ‘glory’ back, but he will vehemently deny this to the very end. That maybe it’s because Barnes is supposed to be a really good person; he’s a firefighter and raises money every year for the poor and helps the homeless in the winter and the first time Steve had seen him he literally almost had an asthma attack which wow, hadn’t happened since high school.

Then there’s Steve, who literally fought his way through High school one punch at a time because people always have to pick on the little guy. Even when he went to University, had a growth spurt and gained some muscle, he still felt the need to show people he was more than their first thought. To show them that he was better than the high school bullies thought.

Unfortunately, this means that he’s developed a nasty reputation for getting his fists stuck in places they shouldn’t be, such as Mrs Holloway’s window (but he paid for the replacement, apologised profusely and she forgave him, so he considers that a win).

Steve has this bone deep need to prove himself and it just so happens that Barnes is standing in his way of fulfilling this and like a baby wanting a toy he can’t have, Steve is throwing a tantrum – arguably has been for the last three years but he’s not gonna think about that.

***

When they arrive almost five hours later at what Tony dubbed ‘Stark mansion’ but was really just his rather large house in the outskirts of New York, Steve and Sam were greeted to the sight of an entire ground floor window dedicated to around twenty pumpkins, carved to perfection with spooky images.

Sam shook his head and sighed, “He really goes full out doesn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Steve tilted his head up to look at the bunting of black bats which outlined the front windows.

Tony loved Halloween. Well, he loved all holidays really but Halloween was perhaps his favourite of all. When he’d graduated from university, engineering degree under his belt and his dad’s company being passed down to him he made sure that the first thing he was going to do was throw a party - well after stopping all weapons manufacturing and converting to clean energy but that was practically a given.

Steve was assigned the important job of decorations and invitations and what began as a rather small affair became a full on rave. It evolved and grew so that on their seventh year of holding the annual party, all proceeds from tickets brought by the masses all vying to come to one of Tony’s infamous parties, go to charity. And there is a lot of money going to charity. Each year almost 600 people arrive at Stark tower and gather in the ball room of sorts and get drunk on shitty punch that’s more alcohol than fruit by the middle of the night.

It’s arguably one of Steve’s favourite nights of the year, even though it’s recently been _tainted_ ; you’ve got friends, free booze, good music and no added stress of having to be reminded about his family (or lack-there-of).

Tony seems to think so too as all of a sudden he comes rushing out of the front of the house, arms outstretched and wearing a…

“Why are you dressed as a Bumble bee?”

“It’s part one of my costume.” Tony says proudly.

There’s silence.

Tony rolls his eyes and ushers the two understandably bewildered men forward. “It’ll make sense later. Now we have important stuff to deal with.”

Important stuff turns out to be sitting on the sofa watching reruns of Hell’s kitchen until it’s time to get ready.

Steve’s kind of nervous, as he is every year but as he give his costume a final tug into position he feels surprisingly calm. Although that might have more to with the fact that he’s wearing an almost perfect copy of Captain America’s suit in the comics.

He didn’t think it was true but he really  can feel the righteousness surging through him and stands taller, staring into the mirror. He looks different. So different from the 14 year old boy he used to be but also from the 28 year old he is today.

It might be the boots.

***

They arrive at the tower a half hour after the party started – all because Tony had trouble putting on his Transformer’s costume. Yes, Tony had the truly great idea to go as bumblebee, hence the Bumble bee costume earlier. However, this costume had the added downfall of making it incredibly difficult to walk, sit in a limo or do anything other than stand very still.

“Did you… even… think this… through?” Sam gasps, biceps straining against the fabric of his airline pilot jumpsuit, as he helps to push Tony out of the limo.

“Yes! I thought – Steve pull your weight Sam’s doing all the work – that I would make an entrance.”

“Got to make an exit first Tony.” Steve mutters face squished against the bottom half of Tony’s suit.

And then things get worse.

“Need a hand?” Someone from outside asks and suddenly a weight is lifted off him and Sam as Tony is pulled out of the car, but this means there’s nothing stopping them from falling forward onto the concrete below and gravity strikes perfectly as Steve’s upper half lands onto the floor, legs splayed on the leather seats and Sam’s face pressed against his ass.

“Dammit Tony.” Struggling to push himself off the ground Steve looks up ready to fiercely glare at him but is instead greeted to the sight of…

_Fuck. Fucking shit balls._  

Crouched before him, arms outstretched to help him up, is James Barnes wearing a 1940s army uniform; hat tipped roguishly to the side and a sheepish smile on his face.

Steve swallows hard because he’s never before realised that Barnes has these bright blue eyes and a little cleft in his chin, and red, red lips and shit it’s just his luck to realise Barnes is hot as fucking hell when he’s splayed out on the floor in front of him.

“You ok, pal?” He says as though Steve’s life hasn’t just been utterly ruined and is now burning in a fiery pit before him.

He can hear Sam grumbling at him to move his pert little ass right now, but he’s too busy DROOLING OVER HIS INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE NEMESIS, so he’ll have to wait a little longer.

Somehow he manages to squeak an affirmative and Barnes takes that as a sign to help him up, hands gently resting on his arms to guide him. For a moment they stand there, staring at each other, before Barnes clears his throat and looks round at Tony, who is fiddling with the arm of his costume.

Steve steps back and takes a breath, trying to act like he’s not completely freaking out, but when he smiles it’s more of a grimace and his eye twitches, as it usually does when he’s stressed and Sam throws him a concerned look.

“What?” Steve asks through gritted teeth. He looks back at Barnes who has joined Tony as the look down at his arm.

His eye twitches again.

“Dude… do you?” Sam’s eyes widen in realisation.

“Haha… ha.  No?”

“Holy shit man! This is gold!” Sam claps his hands together, drawing the attention of Barnes and Tony.

Tony frowns at them. “I’m gonna need to fix something quickly but you guys can go ahead.”

With that he walks – waddles – off into the tower, obviously glad they came in through the underground entrance to avoid the crowds outside.

Barnes turns to look at them and holds out his hand to Steve. “I’m Bucky by the way, Bucky Barnes.”

“Steve.” Steve squeaks. Sam snorts from beside him and Steve clears his throat, trying again. “Steve Rogers.” He shakes Bucky’s (omg) hand and thanks the high heaven that his costume has gloves so that Bucky can’t feel the sweat that is _literally_ pooling in his palm.

“Sam Wilson.” Sam smirks and reaches over to shake his hand as well.

“So,” Bucky begins as they start walking into the main building and into the elevator. “How do you guys know Tony?”

Steve fiddles with the strap of his helmet and stares at the numbers on the elevator as they steadily rise.

“Uh… me and Tony were roommates. At university. Then I introduced him to Sam when I moved out to DC.” He says and Bucky nods his head.

“What about you? I only remember you being here a few years ago.” Sam pipes up after a moment of silence.

“Oh um.” Bucky glances sheepishly at Steve. “My friend Natasha is Pepper’s legal assistant and I may or may not have walked in on Pepper and Tony… making out in a closet.”

Steve laughs. He can’t help it, being a roommate with Tony meant that he’s seen him in some rather unfortunate situations over the years and Bucky’s pained expression brings him back to some very familiar feelings.

(Mainly disgust and nausea).

“I think that’s the initiation process for becoming his friend.” Steve says and his heart jumps when Bucky throws his head back at laughs, exposing the long line of his neck.

The elevator dings announcing its arrival at the designated floor and they step out into the already full room. The party is in full swing and waiters walk around in white shirts, holding silver trays of red and orange drinks.

“Bucky!” A small redhead, dressed in a black cat suit and matching eye mask comes stalking over.

“Get lost?” She asks, red lips pulled into an almost villainous smirk.

Bucky rolls his eyes fondly, “I found myself some new friends. Natasha Romanov, meet Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson.” As Barnes gestures towards them they both smile and nod.

Natasha’s eyes swing round to meet theirs and her smile, if it was possible, gets sharper.

“Steve Rogers you say? I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Before he can reply the music changes to ACDC and from the front of the room Tony walks out, yellow suit shining in the bright spotlight and the crowd cheers.

After that things get a bit hazy. Natasha and Bucky disappear onto the dance floor and Sam leads him towards where Clint sits at the bar. Tony comes and finds them a few shots later when Steve’s helmet is resting on the bar beside his elbow and his hair is sticking up from running his hands through it.

“Why you got your thunder face on steve-o? I thought you were a different avenger.” Tony says and nudges Clint in the side.

Steve makes some sad noises.

“He’s just found out that the person who won the costume contest for the past few years is really attractive.” Sam says and pats Steve’s back consolingly.

“What Bucky?” Tony says confused.

“I can’t win coz he’ll lose.” Steve says. He’s not that drunk that his words are slurring it’s just that he’s _sad_ and tipsy which is never a good combination for him. “If I win then I win yay but that means _he_ won’t win and he’s too pretty to lose.” Steve’s face screws up in a frown.

“Oh Steve.” Clint says and he almost sounds sympathetic up until the point he starts to giggle and his Robin Hood costume far less intimidating than Steve’s sure he intended.

“There are other people in the costume competition Steve, everyone in this room in fact.” Tony says, eyebrows raised.

Steve sighs.

“I’m gonna win.  This year I promised I was gonna win.” His hand slaps down against the bar causing Clint, Sam and Tony to jump in surprise.

“Get me some water. I wanna be sober i slay you all!” He says dramatically and Clint grimaces before signalling the bartender.

***

Bucky is on the other side of the room but Steve can clearly see him laughing at something Gandalf is saying. His hat is held in one of his hands and his hair is perfectly coiffed into a decidedly 40s style.

How is it possible for him to both want to climb and obliterate that hot piece of man-cake? Seriously Steve, get a grip, eyes on the prize, _eyes on the prize and not on Barnes ass goddammit._

He will not let one attractive guy ruin something he has planned for so long. Nope, no way.

But Bucky’s steadily making his way to the corner Steve has managed to seclude himself into for the past half hour, glass of water in hand and he’s going to fuck up the momentum Steve’s got going if he gets any closer.

“Hey, what are you doing by yourself over here?” Bucky asks when he draws near enough for Steve to hear him.

He’s clutching a bottle of beer in one hand and the hat rests underneath his elbow. There are beads of sweat dotted at his temple and his eyes are shining a bright blue.

Steve coughs.

“Dancing’s not really my thing.” He says and smiles sheepishly, eyes flitting from the floor and back up to where Bucky’s smiling at him.

“Ah I see.” Bucky nods his head. “Nice costume by the way, did you make it yourself?” He asks and his eyes look him up and down.

Steve’s cheeks burn and he mourns the loss of his previously amazing ability to flirt as he says, “yeah Captain America was a big role model for me when I was younger.”

“Really?” Bucky says and instead of sounding mocking he appears genuinely interested in what Steve has to say. Oh shit.

“Believe it or not I used to be about 100 pounds soaking wet until a hit a late puberty in college.”

“Shit, I definitely don’t believe it. That’s crazy!” Bucky says and his bewildered laugh is contagious and Steve is chuckling along beside him.

“I know! Um… so what about your costume? Why a soldier?” Steve asks once they’ve both calmed down.

Bucky takes a sip of his beer and nods his head to the music playing before saying, “I’m kind of a history nerd and there’s just something about the Second World War that fascinates me.”

Steve has to fight himself to not really fall for Bucky but he’s finding it really difficult. The next few minutes are spent talking about their jobs and Steve learns more about Bucky being a firefighter and how last year he adopted a rescue kitten called Merlin. (Can this man get any more adorable?)

In return Steve tells him about his art, living with Sam and the fights he got into as a kid and instead of making him feel guilty Bucky gets riled up alongside him and Steve is enraptured by the movements of his hands as he talks.

So, when Tony stands up on stage ready to announce the winning costume, he doesn’t even care that much because Bucky’s laughing as Steve tells him about that time he and Sam woke up one New Years to find Clint lying in the middle off their living room only wearing one sock and a pair of gold booty shorts.

And when his name is called he doesn’t even realise it until Tony is shouting at him to move his ass.

“There he is everyone, Captain America.” Tony jeers as he walks unsteadily up to the stage, taking a moment to glance back at Bucky who is smiling almost proudly at him.

“Now it is worth noting that a number of these votes were as a result of that ass in those pants, am I right?”

Steve rolls his eyes as Tony forces him to turn around but he laughs anyway. Then the little plastic pumpkin trophy is shoved into his hands and Sam claps him on the back as he makes his way down.

“Finally got your prize!” He says and Steve nods his head, dazed.

“Yeah… yeah.” He says absent minded but his head pops up as he looks around. “Hey Bucky!” He shouts and makes his way to the figure now standing at the bar.

“I’ve just got to go ask something Sam, I’ll see you in a bit.” He calls back as he moves and Sam puts his thumbs up, smirking.

“Have fun!” He calls out and Steve’s smile widens. _Oh he plans to._

***

_Five months later_

“Hey, Steve?”

 

“Mmhm.”

 

“I have a great idea for a Halloween costume.”

 

“Bucky it’s _April_!”

 

“But it’s a couple’s costume!”

 

“And it’s five in the morning, go to sleep.”

 

“So you _don’t_ want to win this year?”

 

“…Fuck you.”

 


End file.
